ECW December to Dismember 2006: WWE Built a Disaster Around One Good Match

The Hardys and MNM produce the only match on December to Dismember that consistently resembles pay-per-view quality. Twenty-two minutes gives both teams room to isolate opponents, build hot tags, and layer familiar tandem offense into a coherent escalation. Matt Hardy’s extended punishment gives the middle of the match structure, while Jeff Hardy’s entrance raises the pace and finally gives the Augusta crowd something to invest in. MNM are smooth enough as antagonists to keep the long runtime from collapsing, and the finishing sequence lands cleanly with Jeff’s Swanton Bomb. The match is longer than necessary, but it is energetic, professional, and comfortably the best thing on the show.

Balls Mahoney and Matt Striker are saddled with a comedy stipulation that removes much of the personality the ECW label is supposed to represent. The rules ban eye gouging, hair pulling, top-rope moves, and foul language, which creates an intentionally sanitized framework but not an entertaining one. Striker controls long stretches with basic holds while Mahoney’s comeback arrives without much buildup or urgency. The audience offers little reaction, and the match never establishes a compelling reason to care about who wins. Mahoney’s spinebuster ends the bout abruptly after seven minutes, leaving a segment that feels more like filler for television than something people should have paid to see.

Elijah Burke and Sylvester Terkay beating the F.B.I. functions as a showcase for the newer heel team, but the presentation exposes how thin the card is. Little Guido and Tony Mamaluke bump willingly and provide brief bursts of movement, while Burke supplies the cleaner offense and Terkay is protected through limited involvement. The match never develops a serious competitive rhythm, and the crowd becomes openly restless instead of investing in the newcomers. Burke’s finishing sequence is decisive, followed by Terkay adding a post-match Muscle Buster to reinforce the act. As developmental television material it might have served a purpose, but on a pay-per-view it feels badly undercooked and dramatically out of place.

Daivari and Tommy Dreamer work a slow, low-energy match that never finds the intensity normally associated with Dreamer or the ECW name. The Great Khali’s early presence creates the only obvious threat, but once he is ejected the match settles into extended stalling and basic offense. Dreamer’s comeback produces a few familiar spots, yet the audience remains detached and the finish arrives through a tights-assisted roll-up. Khali returning afterward to attack Dreamer provides a more memorable visual than anything during the bell-to-bell portion. The match does advance a simple heel program, but seven minutes of minimal action followed by an interference-heavy aftermath is not enough for a major-event slot.

Kevin Thorn, Ariel, Mike Knox, and Kelly Kelly produce the weakest match on the card and one of the clearest examples of a performer being used before she was ready. The wrestling is hesitant, the exchanges are awkward, and Kelly’s limited experience makes even basic transitions look uncertain. The storyline goal is Knox abandoning his partner, but the match takes too long to reach that obvious beat and offers no compelling action along the way. Ariel pins Kelly after Knox walks out, then Thorn and Ariel continue the attack until The Sandman makes the save. The angle is understandable, yet the execution is so rough that the segment damages the show more than it advances anyone involved.

The Extreme Elimination Chamber has an inherently strong visual and enough weapons to promise chaos, but the booking drains the crowd before Bobby Lashley ever enters. CM Punk is eliminated first despite receiving one of the night’s strongest reactions, and Rob Van Dam follows shortly afterward, removing the two wrestlers the audience most wants to see. Test gets a brief power run before Lashley escapes his sabotaged pod and clears the remaining obstacles. Big Show enters last with the barbed-wire bat, but the final sequence is short and the champion never feels like a serious threat. Lashley’s title win is decisive, yet the Chamber feels more like a forced coronation than a dramatic survival match.