Starrcade '94: Triple Threat: WCW Puts Vader in the Opener and The Butcher in the Main Event

Vader and Jim Duggan open Starrcade by having the kind of blunt-force wrestling match that makes every later chinlock feel like a clerical error. Duggan attacks before the bell, throws heavy punches, bumps into the railing and even catches Vader coming off the ropes with a powerslam. Vader responds by doing what Vader did best: absorbing punishment until the other man appears to have made a tactical mistake simply by surviving. Harley Race's interference is unnecessary, but the closing facebuster gives Vader the United States title and points him toward Hogan. Scott Keith later rated the match three-and-a-half stars, while Hall called it easily the best thing on the show. Both are generous but understandable.

Alex Wright and Jean-Paul Levesque work a long, tentative match that looks more interesting in the rearview mirror than it did in Nashville. Wright is athletic but still learning how to command a pay-per-view crowd. Levesque already understands posture, timing and the value of acting offended by ordinary wrestling holds, but the French-aristocrat presentation is doing him no favors. The first half is heavy on arm work and headlocks, the second finally wakes up when Levesque starts throwing harder offense, and Wright wins with a sudden roll-up. Hall landed at C-minus and Scott Keith at two-and-a-quarter stars. The historical footnote is larger than the match: this became Levesque's final WCW appearance before leaving for the WWF.

Johnny B. Badd was supposed to face the Honky Tonk Man until Honky refused to lose and was fired, leaving Arn Anderson to walk into a title match with little preparation. The result is technically sound because Anderson could probably wrestle a respectable twelve minutes during a fire drill, but neither man finds a reason for the match to become urgent. Badd works the arm and uses his dropkick, Arn slows things down with familiar control spots, and the final exchange of cheap roll-ups ends with Badd retaining. Hall graded it C; Scott Keith went two stars. That range fits. The match is not bad. On a show desperately needing energy, merely not bad becomes its own kind of disappointment.

The Nasty Boys and Harlem Heat get nearly eighteen minutes, which is a sentence that already contains most of the review. The match has stretches of useful physicality because Booker T can move, Stevie Ray can hit hard, and the Nastys are comfortable turning tag wrestling into a bar fight. The middle drags badly, however, with long control segments and little escalation. Then Sister Sherri accidentally sprays Booker, intentionally splashes him, and somehow causes the Nasty Boys to win by disqualification. Hall and Scott Keith both sat around the two-star range, and the finish makes even that feel charitable. Harlem Heat had already won the tag titles in a match not yet aired on television, adding another layer of WCW time-travel weirdness.

Mr. T and Kevin Sullivan produce less a wrestling match than a reminder that Hulk Hogan had arrived with an address book. T wears referee gear, throws a few punches, gets exhausted almost immediately and spends part of the match tangled in his own shirt. Sullivan does what he can until Dave Sullivan appears dressed as Santa Claus, uses Jimmy Hart's megaphone, and gives T the victory. The surrounding comedy is more memorable than any actual wrestling. Hall graded it F. Scott Keith went below zero with a minus-two-star rating and called it one of the worst celebrity matches. WrestleFile does not need negative numbers to make the same point. This is the event's cleanest SKIP.

Sting against Avalanche should have worked as a simple giant-killer story. Sting attacks the leg, fails at the slam, absorbs the big man's weight and eventually finds enough momentum to create the heroic comeback. The problem is pace. Avalanche moves as though every transition requires written authorization, and long headlocks and bearhugs drain the crowd before Sting finally starts throwing dropkicks. A referee bump, Kevin Sullivan interference and Hulk Hogan's chair-assisted save produce the second disqualification in three matches. Hall was kinder at C because the matchup at least belonged near the top of a major card. Scott Keith gave it one star and called it one of Sting's worst matches before the Crow era. The latter reaction is closer to the experience.

Hulk Hogan versus The Butcher is not historically infamous because it contains spectacular incompetence. It is worse in a quieter way: nothing about it feels worthy of Starrcade. Butcher works basic choking, back rakes and a sleeper. Hogan brawls on the floor, uses a chair, makes the comeback and wins with the legdrop while the Three Faces of Fear interfere around the edges. The crowd never treats Butcher like a credible world-title threat because the booking never made him one. Hall rated it D-minus and Scott Keith one star; contemporary reputation has been even harsher. The post-match appearance of Randy Savage and Vader's immediate challenge to Hogan are both vastly more interesting than the championship match WCW chose to headline.