Clash of the Champions XXIV — The Shockmaster Falls Down and WCW Accidentally Creates Immortality

WCW's months-ahead television tapings back the company into a corner, so an injured Brian Pillman gets replaced by Lord Steven Regal and Steve Austin is ordered to defend the Blonds' championships with a substitute partner. The match itself is much better than the premise deserves. Austin and Regal work together naturally, Arn Anderson controls the rhythm, and Paul Roma is kept in the role that suits him best: absorbing punishment until the hot tag. Sir William's attempted crutch shot backfires, Arn steals the pin with a handful of tights, and the Horsemen finally receive the title change television has already spoiled for weeks.

Bobby Eaton is the emergency substitute after Regal gets moved into the tag-title match, which gives Scorpio five minutes with one of the safest veterans WCW could possibly hand him. Eaton grounds the match early, Scorpio changes the geometry with a springboard bodypress and a slingshot plancha, and the crowd slowly comes alive once the action leaves the mat. Eaton's top-rope elbow gets a believable near fall before Scorpio answers with the spin kick and 450 splash. Nothing here has enough time to become essential, but both men make the replacement feel intentional instead of improvised.

The feud begins with Maxx Payne blasting Johnny B. Badd in the face with the Baddblaster, escalates into a mask-versus-guitar stipulation, and somehow receives less than three minutes to resolve. Payne dominates early, tears off one protective mask only to discover another underneath and then controls most of the remaining action. Badd rallies with a headscissors, Payne misses a middle-rope splash and Badd simply rolls over for the pin. The finish lands with the emotional force of somebody finding exact change. A grudge this silly needed either a spectacular payoff or a longer joke. WCW gives it neither.

Ricky Steamboat and Paul Orndorff rescue the wrestling portion of the show by behaving as if the Shockmaster segment never happened. Orndorff attacks the head and keeps returning to pin attempts, which makes the Television title feel important even during basic control work. Steamboat gradually increases the pace, dives over the top to the floor and strings together enough near falls that the audience forgets the match began in the shadow of catastrophe. Orndorff tries the piledriver, Steamboat escapes and eventually counters a slam into the inside cradle for the title. Then Orndorff piledrives him on the belt, preserving the feud after the loss.

The Colossal Kongs are introduced as a combined thousand pounds of doom, and Sting spends roughly two minutes demonstrating why nobody should have used the word doom. He slams both men, dropkicks them, survives almost no meaningful offense and finishes one with a flying splash while Ric Flair spends much of the segment keeping Harley Race occupied. The crowd enjoys the spectacle because Sting and Flair are massively over and the squash is short enough to be funny. As competitive wrestling it is negligible. As a live demonstration that the Kongs are not going to become WCW's next monster team, it is remarkably efficient.

The mystery-partner reveal works better than the match. Road Warrior Animal drives out in a Camaro, Rick Rude assumes he has solved the surprise, and Road Warrior Hawk appears from the other side to a huge Legion of Doom reaction. Then the bell rings and the mechanics get rough. Hawk dominates almost everything, Equalizer repeatedly looks a step behind the action and referee Randy Anderson ignores enough illegal involvement to make Jesse Ventura sound increasingly justified. Dustin Rhodes spends the middle selling until Hawk blows through both heels and helps knock Dustin on top of Equalizer for the pin. The reunion pop is real. The wrestling never catches it.

Vader and Davey Boy Smith understand that a heavyweight title match should look physically unreasonable. Bulldog suplexes Vader on the entrance ramp, Vader answers with brutal corner punches, and both men keep testing whether the other is actually as strong as advertised. The special stipulation means Vader can lose the championship by disqualification, which forces Harley Race's interference to be more careful than usual. Bulldog survives the top-rope splash, catches Vader in the powerslam and appears to have the title until the referee is wiped out. Race clips Bulldog's knee, Vader falls on top and steals the pin. Cactus Jack then returns to attack Vader, instantly becoming the real final image.