BattleBowl 1993: WCW Builds an Entire Pay-Per-View Around a Gimmick Nobody Asked to See Again

BattleBowl immediately lands on the one pairing that makes the concept look useful. Vader and Cactus Jack had just tried to destroy each other at Halloween Havoc, so forcing them onto the same team creates tension before the bell. They brawl with each other on the ramp, reluctantly settle into the match, and eventually discover that beating up the other team is easier than continuing their own war.

The wrestling itself is basic, with Charlie Norris supplying strikes and Kane working as the most mobile opponent. Vader's power remains the attraction, and Cactus' willingness to throw himself around gives the match a little energy. Vader finally pins Norris after a powerbomb. The pairing is memorable; the match is not. It is a clever draw attached to middling wrestling.

The random-team idea gives Johnny B. Badd and Brian Knobbs a simple personality conflict. Badd wants to wrestle cleanly, while Knobbs keeps trying to drag him into shortcuts with Missy Hyatt assisting from ringside. That contrast creates a few amusing moments and gives the audience something to follow beyond the actual moves.

Unfortunately, Erik Watts and Paul Roma do not add enough urgency to justify nearly thirteen minutes. The action is repetitive, the crowd drifts in and out, and most of the match feels like television filler stretched to pay-per-view length. Knobbs eventually cheats by grabbing the tights to pin Watts, which fits his character but hardly rewards the time invested. The gimmick creates the story; the wrestling never catches up.

Ricky Steamboat and Lord Steven Regal are the most naturally interesting team on the card because they already dislike each other and have unfinished Television title business. Regal openly resents the pairing, Steamboat keeps trying to make it work, and the tension adds meaning to otherwise routine exchanges. Paul Orndorff is steady enough to keep the match organized whenever the larger bodies threaten to slow it down.

Shockmaster remains the obvious problem. His offense is clumsy, and every sequence involving him feels less controlled than the Steamboat-Regal work. The finish at least advances the existing rivalry, with Steamboat striking Regal during the confusion and Shockmaster taking advantage. The match is uneven, but it is one of the rare qualifiers where the random draw creates a story that continues beyond the night.

The Lethal Lottery strands Dustin Rhodes with King Kong against Awesome Kong and The Equalizer, leaving one capable worker surrounded by three men who cannot sustain a useful pace. The match understands the visual joke of placing both Kongs on opposite sides, but WCW never finds a way to turn that image into entertaining wrestling.

Dustin spends most of the match taking punishment while the crowd waits for something to happen. Awesome Kong eventually crashes into his own partners, allowing Dustin to hit the bulldog and escape with the pin. The accident is the only real idea in the match. Multiple retrospectives identify this as the worst bout on the show, and that assessment is difficult to challenge. Five minutes feel much longer.

Sting provides instant credibility, while Jerry Sags spends much of the match acting like he would rather win without his partner. On the other side, Ron Simmons grows increasingly annoyed with Keith Cole for wrestling too cautiously. Those personality conflicts are exactly what BattleBowl is supposed to create, and for a few minutes the format finally feels like it has a purpose.

The problem is that the wrestling between those moments is slow and repetitive. Cole's offense is competent but anonymous, Sags stalls, and the audience only wakes up consistently for Sting. Sags eventually tags himself in and pins Cole after Sting has done most of the damage. Simmons then attacks Cole afterward, completing a heel turn. The angle matters more than the match that delivers it.

Steve Austin spends the opening minutes trying to order Ric Flair around, which gives the match immediate personality. Flair responds by letting Austin discover how difficult Maxx Payne can be before eventually entering and raising the pace. On the opposite side, 2 Cold Scorpio supplies the athletic movement that most of the show desperately lacks, forcing Austin and Flair to work faster whenever he is involved.

The match has the strongest sustained wrestling of the qualifiers. Flair and Scorpio trade clean counters, Austin looks increasingly polished, and Payne is protected by working in shorter bursts. The finish comes when Flair catches Payne in the figure-four for the submission. The pairing also helps establish Austin's growing arrogance before his United States title program. For once, the Lethal Lottery creates a combination that is actually better than the sum of its parts.

Shanghai Pierce and Tex Slazenger being drawn on opposite teams should give the match an obvious hook. Instead, both men spend most of the bout avoiding each other while Rick Rude and Marcus Bagwell work long, slow stretches. The crowd understands what it wants to see, but WCW delays the confrontation so long that the anticipation turns into boredom.

When Pierce and Slazenger finally collide, the audience briefly wakes up. That is the exact moment the match should expand the idea, yet Rude sneaks in and pins Slazenger almost immediately. Pierce and Slazenger then reunite by attacking Bagwell afterward. The story technically makes sense, but the timing is terrible. Fourteen minutes build toward an interaction that lasts seconds, making the qualifier feel much longer than necessary.

Rip Rogers is the joke from the moment his name is drawn. Road Warrior Hawk punches his own partner during the introduction, leaving Rogers barely able to reach the ring while Hawk tries to fight Davey Boy Smith and Kole by himself. The absurdity at least gives the crowd a reason to watch, and Hawk's frustration makes the random-team gimmick feel different from the previous matches.

Rogers eventually reaches the apron without doing meaningful work. Hawk then press-slams him onto Kole, accidentally creating the winning pin for the man who contributed almost nothing. It is one of the few genuinely memorable comedy beats on the card. As wrestling, though, the match is thin. Davey Boy Smith is underused, Kole is treated as filler, and the entire segment exists to set up Rogers' immediate embarrassment in the battle royal.

The battle royal begins with sixteen wrestlers and too much empty time. Early eliminations come quickly, then the match settles into a long period of bodies leaning against ropes while the camera searches for something important. The unusual rule allowing wrestlers to remain active if they land on the entrance ramp adds confusion rather than suspense.

The match improves dramatically once the field narrows to Ric Flair, Steve Austin, Sting, and Vader. Flair and Austin continue their tension, Vader attacks Flair on the ramp, and Sting eliminates Austin before facing Vader alone. Sting misses the Stinger Splash and tumbles over the top, giving Vader the ring and another dominant victory. The final stretch is the best part of the show and points directly toward Starrcade, but it takes too long to get there.